Sunday, October 19, 2008

Round 5, dogs!

Yo dogs, Randy here. Your pal and mine Simon asked me to step in and run the judging because he had a very important appointment that he needed to attend to (he was getting his butt waxed). So here I am dogs, and here is the judgment, dogs.

Captain Koma – Yo dog, you said the three magic words: Mer Maid Porn. I am there, I am so there that I wasn’t even here. Congratulations, you’re going to Hollywooooood!

(Hollywood Upstairs Medical Clinic, that is. You need to get those blisters on your bikini zone checked out)

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator – Yo dogette, I like your style but I liked your partner better and I really wanted to know who his tailor is. Being a big and tall man myself, finding the styles that don’t bunch up on me in all the wrong places is murder. Congratulations, you’re going to Hollywoooooooood!

(Hollywood, Alabama that is. The Stuckies there serves awesome vanilla shakes)

Mr Bennet – You had me all hot and excited right there in the beginning, dog, but then you had all that stuff about global warming. I never could understand that stuff, yo. Nonetheless, you had my guy Al Gore there. He’s another big and tall guy and a big proponent of Randy’s Husky Undies. Congratulations, you’re going to Hollywooooooood!

(Hollywood Road China, they got some sweet trinket shops there, dog)

Nepharia – Yo dogette, you. Are. Da. Bomb. I am serious. You and me should get together some time. Maybe I could rub some precious oils on your back as I read from my new book “Randy’s Book of Romantic Poetry.” Give me yo digits and I’ll ring you up yo. Congratulations, you’re going to Hollywooooooooood!!!

(Hollywood Fats and Matt Hollywood are playin’ down at the club. You and I got some tickets. Hollywood Hulk Hogan’ll be there too, yo)

Gyrobo – Yo robodog, what can I say. I dig it! I dig the all singing all dancing all rockin’ all rollin’ Gyrobo Show. ‘Nuff said. Congratulations, you’re going to Hollywoooooooooood!

(That’s Hollywood Video, here’s a free coupon to rent Randy Sings the Broadway Hits)

Petrelli – Yo dog, I don’t know what’s going on with you dog, but you’re getting into some freaky territory. They got seaweed that you be smokin’ or something? Those ideas are all freaky. Super freaky. Super freaky cool. Congratulations dog, you’re going to Hollywooooooood!!

(Hollywood England, home of the Gay Hill Golf Club, that is)

Well dogs, you all did awesome and in my eyes, you’re all winners. More specifically though, Nathan is the winner. Congratulations dog, it was that Skid Mark Twister that put you over the top. Congratulations, you’re going to Hollywoooooooood! (That’s Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond Virginia where you can visit the grave sites of Tazewell Ellett and Julia Gardiner Tyler.

Now unfortunately, one of you has to go. Nepharia, dog, you know you’re my dog, but you were the last dog in, dog. Aww, baby don’t be mad. Can I still get your number? Hello? Hello?


Mr. Bennet said...


Wait...I'm not Nepharia. Nevermind.

Paula Abdrool said...

Randy is such a big meanie! Nepharia was the most *sniff* beautiful human being I've ever looked at. Even if she wasn't human. She was still human on the inside. You can just tell.

captain koma said...


I didn't win.

What do I have to do to win a damn challenge here, kill everybody?

Nepharia said...

WTF! But, hey, I get to go to Hollywooooooooood! And as soon as I get there, I'm ditching Randy.

Anyone game for a round of Star Wars drinking game?

captain koma said...

Also Mermaid is one word.

Professor Xavier said...


Henchman432 said...

The fix is in.