Monday, September 15, 2008


Chuck goes and points the starting gun in the air and fires announcing the begining of this farce. The other racers begin piling in to their SUV's and rushing off to the Canadian border. Me I'm in the bowels of the X-mansion trying to talk around my mutant partner for this farce.
"You see Victor I need you so I can win this stupid race. So I can beat Henchy, Nepharia, Bennet and West." I tell Him.
"Don't care." replies Sabertoth. "Gonna rip you in half." He rushes me !voip! I teleport out of the way, he hits the floor hard.
"Look we can do this for hours but you've got to understand something here. I'm Buggs Bunny and you're the Tasmanian Devil."
Sabertooth just growls on all fours all tense and ready to pounce again.
"Ok so you need some more encouragement. Logan's in the race." I tell him. The mutant stops growling and stands up and I continue. "I don't care if you kill Logan. Then there's Cyclops, Havok, Deadpool, hell you can even kill Puck for all I care."
"You are a nasty little man aren't you Koma?" smiles Sabertooth. "You'll help me kill Logan?"
"Yeah I'll let you do that. Are you in?" I ask.

Much later we get to Moosejaw. Yes we used the SUV which did take quite a while.
Once out of the SUV Sabertooth sniffs the air.
"He was here." 'tooth states.
"Yes I'm quite sure Logan was here." I tell him. "But you've got a job to do."
"Logan first." protests Sabertooth.
"No Victor, Wendigo first." I tell him.
"Bye Koma." says Sabertooth and he strides off into the wilderness following Logan's trail.
"Oh dear its come to this has it." I tell myself.

The other SUV's were all parked in the same lot in Moose Jaw. I find the one Logan took. It was quite easy to find, what with all the claw marks, cans of beer and cigar butts in it. I tore the leather off the seat Logan was in, it stunk. Someone remind Logan to buy some deoderant, preferably in bulk.

Taking the Logan soaked leather upholstry I set off into the wilderness to set a trap.

Further out in the Saskatchewan wilderness Sabertooth continued his search for his nemesis.
"Your getting careless Logan" snickers Sabertooth. Cheerfully he follows the trail till it leads him to a cave.
"A Wendigo??" muses the feral mutant.

A wild scream eurrupts from the cave.

"That Wendigo better not kill you first." grumps Sabertooth.

Stalking slowly through the cave he hears more screams and wails. Sabertooth sniffs the air smelling something he doesn't mind at all.
"Burnt flesh, tasty." 'tooth licks his lips. Finally he turns the corner.
"What the f.." begins Sabertooth.
"I'd stop there Victor, this is a family show." I warn him.
In front of me is a nice little fire thats been warming me and the camera man. Behind me is a Wendigo chained to the cave wall. In my hand is a red hot poker which I've obviously been using to get the bloodcurdling screams from the helpless Wendigo.
"Where's Logan?" asks Sabertooth as if he's been told a joke and just doesn't get the punchline.
"Oh the Wendigo chewed him up and spat him out further up the cave." I answer. "He wont be all that recognisable till he heals up."
Still bemused Sabertooth continues following the scent trail. He finds a bloody wet human-ish form in the darkness.
"Your mine shorty." delights the mutant hunter. Suddenly from the carcass a silver cable fires straight into Sabertooth's chest. Quickly followed by five more, then comes the electricity.

Sabertooth screams then passes out.

"What did I tell you Victor?" I ask the unconscious psychopath. "Your the Tasmanin Devil and I'm Buggs Bunny."
Obviously I took the Wendigo to the Department H feild HQ. They were really nice there they let me have one of their operating theatres. Now Victor has a nice new locator beacon in his skull. Which also doubles as an explosive device just to keep him in line.

Ain't I despicable!


West said...

Koma, I've watched Bugs Bunny. I know Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny is a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Bugs Bunny.

Vegeta said...

Wow I have the less stupid Canaidan animal man. Not by much though.

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...

Bet you enjoyed poking that Wendigo with your poker, didn't you? *snicker*

Nathan Petrelli: Bleeding To Death said...

There is a locator beacon in his head...Hummm, that is an intriguingly familiar solution...

jfa;dfk Bennet strikes again.

Professor Xavier said...

Poor Logan. It's amazing often he gets his rear-end handed to him.

Gyrobo said...

Ah! The old cable trick.

You've got to remember where you've got them coiled up, though.