Oh sweet Mother of Mary, how the hell did I get talked into doing another one of these again? I feel as if your small dim minds slowly suck the wit and charm out of me. I know you bask in the privilege, nay, the splendor, of my judging wisdom. Besides, who would you rather have, myself, or the crazy woman who screams and jumps around who does that dancing show? Dancing is for fairies.
West: Shouldn't you be in school? Good luck with that partner.
Jan: You will suffer a bit of a time penalty for breaking your partner, but since you didn't murder him, it will be minimal. I will take the time to scold you for putting at risk America's first sexy secretary candidate for President. We at Fox Broadcasting support the candidate most likely to revive actual witch hunts and village burnings. It makes for great ratings.
Koma: You have some serious issues. And they aren't good issues.
Vegeta: Interesting use of the word immolated. Could we get less bickering with your boyfriend and a better view of your adventure?
Nathan: I admire your determination and I wish you luck.
Henchman: Ok, I'll admit it, you made me laugh with Raptor Jesus.
Hotstuff: Please try to refrain from blowing up the holy sites of other cultures. Wars have started that way.
Gyrobo: GPS, Blackberry, what wonder hasn't John McCain invented. Such is his brilliance that he can create them yet not even know how they work. Genius.
Bennet: Tepid, but it'll do.
Nepharia: Just like a woman, sitting in the passenger and seat nagging the driver.
In the past, this is where I would bemoan that you all suck, suck superbad, whatever it is the youngsters are saying these days. But that wasn't the case this time around. I felt that overall, it was an excellent showing by all contestants making the choices very difficult. Hell must have frozen over.
The winner of the 1st leg of the race is
Which brings us to the unfortunate case of the loser
Hotstuff, this is your final stop