Friday, September 12, 2008

Get Set . .

This is it ladies and gentlemen - the contestants have arrived. The entrance is almost closed. The race will begin Monday, September 15th. No new racers will be accepted after that point. Just a reminder regarding the rules - no outside help, which would include from things as well as people. I'm looking at you Captain Koma. You and your teleporting satellite array. Also no killing, if you can help it. Particular not civilians. Especially not your camera-person. Any breaking of the rules will result in a time delay penalty. And of course prosecution in the local jurisdiction for any criminal actions.

And now it is time to assign partners. This is the Mutant Race, of course, so each contestant will be allotted a mutant partner. Each team will have two players. I've had a lot of eager mutants sign up and unfortunately I've not been able to accommodate them all. The assignments will be chosen by random lottery drawing.

The first racer is Henchman. Let me just reach into the bowl of cards with the mutant names written on them and fish one out. Let's see . . it's . .


Next up we have Nepharia. And she gets . .

Havok, Cyclops' angry brother.

Our next contestant is West. He gets . .

X-23, Wolverine's clone/daughter.

Then we have Gyrobo. His mutant partner will be . .

Puck, from Alpha Flight.

Next is Nathan Petrelli. Let's see who -


Er, yes Emma?

"Assign me as his partner."

But this is suppose to be a random process. I -

"Just do it. I want to put that sexist pig in his place."

Alright, fine. Nathan Petrelli is assigned -

Emma Frost.

Up next is Vegeta. Let me see. I think Marrow had made a special request to be assigned to the Sayian Prince.

"Just glad it ain't me. Ha!"

Yes Logan, I think we all are. However the Standards and Practices division of the network that will be broadcasting this show has indicated that Marrow's "power" is just too disgusting to be aired on television. Since he isn't being allowed to play, I have to pick a new, totally random partner for Vegeta. Let's see who . . hmm . .


"Aw, crap."

The next racer is Captain Koma. His partner is . .

Sabertooth. Er, careful Koma. Creed doesn't play well with others.

Then we have Jan, the Intergalactic Aviator. Her partner is . .


"Sacre bleu!"


"We shall make beautiful music together, ma chere."

Yes, good for you.

Our next contestant is Mr. Bennet. Let's see who gets stuck with. Ah . .


And finally we have Hotstuff. His partner will be . . oh my . . it's . .

Magneto! I didn't even realize he wanted to play.

Well, good luck everyone!


Vegeta said...

Marrow? ugh.

captain koma said...


You thought I'd actually want a goody two shoes.


All I need now is a decent leash to keep this animal in his place.

Now where did I put my portable elctro-shock therapy kit?

Anonymous said...

MAgneto? you gotta be kidding me

Well it could have been worse I could have ended up with my ex girlfriend that would have made Shiara unhappy

or Danny's Boyfriend Gambit

Okay Magneto huh....

this is do able

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...


I am not putting up with his lame come ons, do you hear me Xavier?

Anonymous said...

Jan just threaten to tell Danny

Henchman432 said...

Great,Pizzaface keeps calling me Bob...Grrr....

Nepharia said...

Look, I just got my tan looking the way I wanted it and now you expect me to lose it on a planet with only one sun? Hmmmm, but Havok looks like someone I could get into some real trouble with. This could be interesting.

Gyrobo said...

Puck & Awesome does have a nice ring to it.

Professor Xavier said...

Does that mean you're changing your name to Puck, Gyrobo?

Gyrobo said...

I wouldn't rule it out.