Monday, September 15, 2008

A hunting we will go!

The Amazing Mutant Race, where the best of the best go to compete, and I Vegeta the King of the Saiyans, am stuck at the mansion because my partner is watching hockey.

"We have to go Rodent!" I demand.

"Bub... busy ... hockey" the mesmerized mutant grunts.

Oh f#$# this. I blast the television.

He finally becomes animated. “What the Flamin' Hell! You know what yer problem is bub? You can't stand a real man's game. Ya like that ultimate fightin' crap wonder why ya like that? Half naked men grapplin' each other?"

I growl “At least I don't have some giant Russian grab my ass to toss me at people!"

Our android camera man comes in between us “yes you are both very gay can we go now?" The two of us smash the offending piece of metal

“Logan I think we broke him." I say as it flops around. We pick it up and run to the SUV before Xavier sees it.

Logan kept smacking its head. “How many fingers am I holdin' up bub?"

" Three." It squawks

“Who am I?” Logan asks.


Logan smiles “See no problem Veg Head."

The Android shouts “I’m Anne Heche!"

I roll my eyes. “Yes it's doing very well."

Logan spits. “You may not really be gay, but that Devil Grandson of yers...he is!"

I sigh "I know. Can we speak of something else? Where's that Asian woman you were with last year? Why isn't she here this year eh? Did she get laser eye surgery?"

“You ... you remember that? No one’s supposed to remember that."

Okay Logan's freaking out, Bah! We take the rest of the drive in silence, well except random ranting from the android. Almost there, and I get tired. Blast it Logan drives like an insane grandmother. I look over to the android that's tore all it's metal casing off, and screaming “Hulk is strongest one there is!" Ummm No.

"Logan take the wheel I'm taking a nap."

Some time later I hear a crash I rub my eyes, and see Logan tying a moose to the roof. “Rodent! Did you crash the SUV into that animal?"

“Moose burgers tonight bub!"

I shake my head, and drive the rest of the way. When I get there some people that talk like Logan give me my challenge. So I have a choice eh? Fight something called a Wendigo, or find out my place in the Universe. Hmph! As royalty I always knew what I'd be when I grew up, and Logan really wanted to fight the Wendigo.

Sounds good to me. We take the wrecked SUV into the woods. “Fine Rodent where do we find this Wendigo?"

“The spirit O' the Wendigo knows when I'm around it'll come ta me." He gruffs.

Hmmm that gives me an idea.

About a dozen white ape like things charge and start ripping Logan away from the ropes. I slam into several of them then I realize something these things are strong real strong.

One bites into me and starts spitting. “Ha! You like eating humans don't you? Too bad I'm not human freaks!" I transform to my most powerful form. I start blasting them, and knocking these creatures away. Meanwhile Logan looks to be having fun.

Stupid creatures won't stay down! I keep blasting, and blasting. And they keep getting up. I'd rather not have to blow up the planet to get rid of them. That would definitely make me lose this game. Wait I have an idea. I grab Logan by the neck...

Okay that takes care of one... Now for the rest I create an artificial full moon now they have to face their bigger meaner cousin.

That turned out to be a mistake... they all maul me like rabid kittens. I roll around trying to get them off. Finally release all my ki burning them. I have enough control to not blow up the planet, the forest on the other hand was immolated. I force myself back into my normal form.

I notice Koma poach one of the knocked out Wendigos. " Tch! Glad I could make it easy for you" I groan." Hey Rodent? How many of these things do we need to take back?"

“One bub." He huffs.

“What?" I protest. “You mean I could have just grabbed one flew into space, and suffocated it, then brought it back here before it died? Damn it!"

"Hey ya should be glad Bub; ya helped my homeland get rid O' a massive menace.”

Rub salt into the wound why don't you Logan?

I dragged the one with the massive hole in its chest back to the SUV; I take the now putrid moose off the top.

"Hey bub I was gonna eat that!" The rodent whines.

“It stinks Wolverine, besides I'm not letting the Wendigo ride with us the annoying automaton is enough." I open a capsule with Adamantium chains then tie the woods beast to the top of our wrecked vehicle.

"The Wendigo smells worse than the moose." Logan moans from the passenger seat. “Hey why do ya carry capsules wit'ropes, and Adamantium chains?"

"Bulma wants to get kinky at times." I explain. That shuts him up until we drive... well more like limp to the pit stop.


Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...

What's up with everyone around here eating moose?

Nathan Petrelli: Bleeding To Death said...

I would have flown the beast into the atmosphere to suffocate him, if I hadn't thrown out my back by flying Parkman around...

Too bad super strength didn't come with my flying abilities.

captain koma said...

Yes its the blogoverses answer to the odd couple. I can hear the theme music.

Keep it up.

Professor Xavier said...

You know you don't have to kill them, right? You just need to incapacitate one.

Vegeta said...

I can't kill the things, that one with the gaping chest wound regrew its chest.

Henchman432 said...

So when are the two of you going to LA and getting Hitched ?

Vegeta said...

Ha. ha. No too much body hair and not enough curves Plus waaay too much testoterone.

Oh by the way how's Magdelena these days? Oh yes you have no idea do you?

Anonymous said...

hey I get to drive now

Gyrobo said...

That's it -- mooseburgers for everyone, on the house!