Thursday, November 6, 2008

Yield: I Miss Koma

"We may as well yield ourselves! We're going to lose anyway!" Cyclops whined. "Jan and Nathan are too good! We can never beat them, never!"

Grabbing Scott by the collar, I gave him a hard backhand across the side of his face. Unfortunately, that caused his optic blast to discharge, possibly killing our cameraman in the process. Xavier supposedly had him taken to the ICU, but I haven't checked in with him or anything. I mean, it's just a cameraman anyway. We've already got a new one. These guys must grow on trees.

The optic blast/possibly dead cameraman incident postponed our announcement of our yield. As soon as we got a replacement to film our great debate over the looming decision, we continued.

"Nathan and Jan may indeed be tough competition," I explained, "but you and I have something they don't have."

"You have asthma too?" Scott asked.

"Well, yes, but that's not what I was going to say," I replied. "We have something else Jan and Nathan don't: peculiar eyewear."

"Hey, we do!" Scott stroked his visor sensually as he thought about the realization.

"And we have to make a stand and win this thing, not for ourselves, but for all the people in this world who are mocked because of impairments requiring odd head accessories...."

"....crooked-teethed little boys...."

"....victims of Monopoly, or whatever game sociopaths play...."

"....tanning people...."

"You're right," Scott admitted "So who are we yielding?"

"Nathan," I answered decisively.

"But....his chiseled jaw, his wonderful pecs," Scott contemplated, "I think it would be better if we yielded Jan, strategically I mean."

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Relax," I said. "You're merely fooled by her breasts into thinking she has talent. It happens."

"Um, yeah. Breasts."

I continued, "Were it not for her feminine wiles, she'd be nothing more than Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. And he's hardly a threat. So, we're yielding Nathan. He can fly, you know."

We choose to yield Nathan Petrelli and Emma Frost.


Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...

Oh for jeez oh pete. It's aviator, AY-VEE-AY-TOR! That's way different than a gladiator. What is it with you idiots anyway?

Mr. Bennet said...

I was merely equating you to the artist formerly known as Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. I did not mistake the obvious difference in careers. But you have to admit, if you didn't have breasts, you'd probably have become a gladiator, don't you think?

Professor Xavier said...

Miss Koma? I think it's Mr. Koma, though I could be wrong. I mean I've never actually checked or anything.

Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

$%@#$% that Bennet and my writers block,but I looked good in that pic with Emma.